thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
