A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
