I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
