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It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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