I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
