Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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