We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
