He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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