WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
people are starting to question the shark bite story
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
