I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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