he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
