He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
