My sheets look like a crime scene.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
