youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Randomize
