hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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