I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
