omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
a search helicopter?!
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
