I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
