just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Randomize
