I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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