you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
