Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
