Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
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