He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
