it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
