Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
