Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
