you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
So much Jack, so little girl.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
