Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
