Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
