I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
