I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
he was CRYING into my vagina
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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