Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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