i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Randomize
