Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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