so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
