i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
