I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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