I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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