no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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