How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
