WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
