the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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