Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
