just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Found the puke drawer
Watching her eat just hurts me
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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