That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
As shirtless as possible
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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