I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
