it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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