i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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