I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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