her vagine was all disorganized.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Randomize
