i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
